Eating. Drinking. Storytelling…Good Times

I’ve been avoiding discussing Top Chef for one simple reason. I am simply fed up with the show. After last season’s bullying disaster, and the later allegations of how certain people were edited to look innocent in said disaster, I was ready to leave the watching to people with much stronger stomachs.

But something interesting happened with this season. The chefs were actually talented. Sure there was the usual preening and chest puffing we have come to expect from reality shows. But, these people seemed to have the goods to back it up. And I got interested. But, then the show ruined it all.

Let’s back up a little. Last season, we saw some ham handed editing that was meant to make Elia seem innocent in what has now become known as “clipper-gate”. Unedited footage showed Elia - hair still intact- was on the floor laughing as Marcel struggled away from Cliff and locked himself in the bathroom to sleep unmolested. After that horror show, Elia and company happily go about shaving their heads as though they had not just tried to hold down a sleeping man and forcibly shave his head. They merrily went on their way as though Marcel deserved what happened and the only real problem was that the judges didn’t find it as funny as they did. While I blame the contestants for their bullying mob mentality, I have to blame the show for its insistence on trying to mitigate Elia’s involvement.

Now is this something that we should blame the producers of the show for? Or should the blame fall on Bravo’s shoulders? I’m not sure but the show is suffering from an identity crisis of sorts. Is it a competitive cooking show, or is it simply a reality show? It seems that after almost three seasons, we should know by now. More importantly, THEY should know by now.

Let’s have a look this season. The first episode left me frustrated because there are no clear rules or guidelines available for how the chefs and their dishes are judged. Should Howie have been disqualified for not completing the challenge? Well, according to that episode, no. According to that episode the part that he DID complete was better tasting than Clay’s complete submission.

However, if we look at season 1. Dave was sent home because he didn’t complete the challenge even though what he DID complete was judged better than Tiffany’s complete entry. Now it can be argued that in the case of Dave and Tiffany they were much further along and therefore Dave’s omission was the bigger blow. However, we have Collichio telling Dave that he could have put anything on a plate and called it a third dish and he would have won. Which then becomes confused in season 2 when Clay is told that he would have been better off leaving the chops off the plate and presenting an incomplete entry. Which leaves me as an audience member wondering what the actual rules are and what weight is given to each part of the judgement criteria.

But looking more at this season, I am seeing even more problems from the conflict between competitive cooking show and reality show. Lets look at Micah. From general internet comments she seems to have been a much disliked contestant. But upon reviewing the footage I can’t find a reason why except for her being given the “evil edit”. In my opinion she seemed confident in her abilities even if she was emotional enough to make season one’s Dave seem even keeled. But there was much debate over her supposed snobbishness towards American cuisine.

This perceived snobbishness comes from the “Family Favorites” episode. First there was the reaction to recreating an American classic in a healthy way. Right off the bat most of the chefs are unhappy with the challenge. Lia claims to be out of her element because she is not used to creating healthy food. Hung says “All those dishes look disgusting to me.”

Micah claims to have never eaten fried chicken or chicken a la king (which I can give her that, I’ve never had chicken a la king either and I’ve lived in America my entire life) and chooses meat loaf and mashed potatoes because she figures it will be easy to improve upon- which it doesn’t take a great chef to know thats true. Now a lot of people called “bullshit” on this since we later found out that Micah is originally from Massachusetts.

But, I have to say, and correct me if I’m wrong here, I’ve never thought of fried chicken as being a staple of a Massachusetts diet. If Micah had been from a southern state I would be more inclined to call “shenanigans” on that but in this case, I’m inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. Micah goes on to say her “reaction to American comfort food is bleh”.

So, at first I thought maybe it was this comment that caused so much upset over her alleged snobbishness. But then I remembered Hung saying American comfort food was “disgusting” and figured that was definitely a worse put down than “bleh”. So it had to be something else.

And then we get to the comment that launched a thousand hate responses to Micah. “I know that Americans like to put ketchup on, so instead we did a roasted tomato, red and yellow pepper sauce- it’s underneath.” Still, it wasn’t this comment specifically that labeled her as anti-American. It was actually Chef Portale’s misquoting her comment with his “I don’t like the way she said ‘us Americans” that launched so much hate towards Micah. Which is not what she actually said. I mean its right there in the footage, but his misquote and accusation of an attitude is what people paid attention to. For me, the worst thing Micah did in the entire episode was not making a good meatloaf (because there is just no excuse for that). But the show allowed Portale to perpetuate the “Micah hates America” attitude without anyone ever correcting him on what she actually said.

There were other things in the episode that I also took issue with but I discussed that in that episode’s entry.

Lets step away from Micah and look at my latest reason for being fed up. I have to say that from all the seasons so far, my favorite challenge is always the Restaurant Wars. It gives us as the audience the chance to really see how the chefs work together or not. And it gives the contestants the chance to really rise to the top or fall to the bottom of the heap. But my issue this time wasn’t with any portrayal of the contestants or any issue with the lack of transparency in the judging. My issue is with the dismissive way the show sabotaged accomplished food writer and critic Andrea Strong.

Now, you can find a much better discussion of the sabotage here. But, I do think that it was completely wrong and more than a little disgusting that Ms. Strong was introduced as just a “food blogger” with no other information about her long food and restaurant background being given to either the audience or the contestants. Now, I am JUST a food blogger. I have no restaurant experience other than eating in them. I have no formal training as a chef- I’ve only cooked my entire life and love food. So, if it were me or someone with my background as a guest critic then the title would be a fair assessment. But, someone as accomplished as Strong should have been given the same suck up treatment they have given any other guest (Ted Allen, I’m looking at you) who has come to critique the performance of the contestants.

But what really ticks me off about the Andrea Strong situation is that there is no apology forthcoming from the show or the network about this oversight. Instead, Andrea was forced to defend herself and her credentials after the fact on the Top Chef website long after the hateful questioning of her background had already been posted. Hell, she wasn’t even given the redemptive second episode treatment that Chris “yes, I’m a bitch but Madonna is my sister” Ciccone was given.

What’s worse is that she wasn’t really given any kind of voice in the episode. Instead, we have her lumped in with the ridiculously bitchy Chris Ciccone. To make her even more the bad guy, they (the judges) read unedited snippets from her notes aloud while still maintaining the dismissive “she’s just a food blogger, what does she know” attitude- snippets that didn’t even make it into the actual review she posted as the guest blogger for Top Chef. But as I said Keckler does a much better job of explaining why their treatment of her was so shabby.

And these are just a few of my complaints about this show. I like the competitive aspect of it and really wish more time was spent on the actual food. But, I hate the underhanded tricks being played on the audience and Top Chef’s implied encouragement of its rabid fans to attack the people the show has intentionally shafted.

Speaking of shafted, I was really sorry to see Tre go. Shitty tattoo aside, I thought he really had the goods to be Top Chef. I also liked his attitude going in even if his own cockiness got the best of him.

Now, comfort foods are my thing. They are like giant hugs from your grandparents. They make you feel warm and safe. You know they give you comfort. So, I was intrigued by the concept of modernizing old classics.

I have to say that I am never sure about this show. I am never sure what the criteria are or how the rules fall. So, this episode was refreshing in that it was clearly about the dishes and not about whether the way it was made followed the rules of the challenge or whether or not an incomplete dish merits disqualification.

I did think it was odd that the judges took issue with the chicken a la King not being reminiscent of chicken a la king. Simply because they kept complaining about how literal the other approaches to the dishes were. Now if they took issue with its overall presentation and or flavor, I could understand.

Seriously, it looked like vomit.

Micah’s meat loaf on the other hand looked beautiful but obviously tasted horrible.

It was really surprising because meat loaf is so easy to make taste good. And it seemed a good opportunity to reinvent a very easy and tasty dish. I don’t understand her choice of ingredients. I hope the garlic mashed potatoes were at least good- but no one ever said.

Now about the chicken and dumplings:

That was a dish that I would love to try. For years I was a snob about boxed mashed potatoes. I had tried them once as a kid at a friends house and was completely grossed out by how they tasted. A few years back I tried some and was amazed by how good they tasted. So, that tells me that somewhere along the line the companies got better at making them taste like real potatoes.

Even if the potatoes were still as nasty as I remembered from childhood, the idea of using them to make a dough for dumplings just seems kind of genius to me. What better way to disguise that cardboard taste while also saving time?

I really wish his dish had won simply because he was so smart about how he came up with it.

I don’t know if I want to discuss Hung’s turning off of the oven. Well, yeah I do. It was a dick move. Because even if he was done, he knew that there were plenty of other chefs still trying to work with the equipment. And if he works in a restaurant, then he knows that the stoves and ovens aren’t turned off until the place closes up for the day.

As for the winning dish. I’m glad Howie finally caught a break because he really hasn’t been impressing me so far. His dish did look good and it was a good chance to redeem himself after the pork disaster of the cook out challenge.

I have to ask, has anyone ever actually eaten pork chops and applesauce as a dish? Like is it a midwestern thing or something? I remember it being a joke on the Brady Bunch, but I’ve never seen it served and I’ve never tried the two together. Howie’s did look mighty tasty.

I love love love apples and can see how that slaw would probably be really tasty. I’d love to try the dish and since Bravo has the recipe online, I may give it a shot. But, my question is how do you lower the cholesterol in pork chops? Is it in the cut he chose? My understanding was that the cholesterol in pork is pretty much non-negotiable.

Anyway, I am looking forward to the next challenge. And I think as long as no one gets drunk and tries to forcibly shave the head of a fellow contestant, this is going to be a great season.

I got hooked on the show in the first season. Watching Dave panic and break down was a thing of beauty. It was too bad that Colicchio obviously hated him though. Because when it came down to it I thought Dave took more chances than Harold and really could have been a contender in the top two. I think Harold’s like-ability is what really won out in the end - that and Tiffany trying to take the credit for someone else’s dish.

But, when season 2 came around I was afraid I would never watch the show again. It was no longer a show about cooking. It was like watching a documentary on bullying and how it starts small and builds until it blows up in some form of violence. I couldn’t even watch the finale. I just didn’t care anymore.

Well, now its time for season 3. I watched the first episode and even though it was really strange to see the spot where Versace was murdered, the episode was good. I think I am going to root for Tre even though he does have a really shitty tattoo. Seriously, did he draw that on with a sharpie? But, I like his attitude. He is there to cook but he also appreciates the food that others are making. I loved his response to Hung’s geoduck sauce. There is confidence but not arrogance in Tre. I hope I am proven correct in my assessment.

As for Hung, I can see that he is talented but I think he has seen one to many reality shows. Its like he is trying to force himself in to the “bad guy” mold so that people remember him. What he doesn’t realize is that people will remember him if he just shuts up and cooks.

Its really difficult to get a read on the other contestants. I felt bad for Clay but it was obvious that he was in over his head. Although I still think that Howie should have been disqualified for failing to actually complete the challenge, I don’t have a problem with Clay being sent home. I just think both of them should have, Howie by disqualification and Clay for his poor dish. But, then that would be more along the lines of an actual competition and not so much a reality show.

I can say right now though that Joey just needs to shut up. I can already tell how much I am going to hate him just from his assy behavior in the first episode. Micah was trying to help Clay who seemed extremely nervous, and Clay seemed appreciative of the help. But, Joey is bitching at the camera that she better not tell him what to do because he will tell her off? Why would he even care what she said to Clay?

Anyway, I plan to watch this show until I become disillusioned and bitter just like in season 2. Once that happens I will have to depend on Keckler’s Recaps on Television Without Pity to get me through. And since she is now including drink recipes in her recaps, I have a feeling that getting through the season just got a whole lot easier.